Today was not good.
I let go of the relationship I had with my mother over a year ago. Things were hard on her when I was growing up. Our family had more then it's fair share of tragedies. She personally suffered loss after loss. I don't know if she just was incapable or if she just didn't know how to mother. It's not like she didn't have a good example because my grandmother is the best. She just never loved me I don't think.
Please, no violins. I hate being pittied. I grew up with that too. I have always carried hope with me and it's made me strong. It's the reason I am able to accomplish things that should be outside of my reach. Because I don't know how to not try. I believe in possibilities, I believe in people, and I do believe in myself.
But there are some days, like today, that make me wish I had a Mom.
No pity, just a well wish to a pretty rockin' chick that could take all my money at the table and look slammin' while doing it. See, you've also got that quick wit, an independent spirit and a damned nice voice that I am looking forward to hearing again on that podcast of yours soon. So, good day or not so good day, your still the shit!
Posted by: M | May 23, 2007 at 09:10 PM
Thanks M.
Feeling better already.
Posted by: K | May 23, 2007 at 10:16 PM
It's way cooler to not have a mom. I tell people that I was cultivated in a petri dish.
Posted by: Jason - GorillaSushi | May 24, 2007 at 05:12 AM
I can say I honestly AM so sorry...but I CAN understand too. I still HAVE a mom, but at times, she made it harder than hell to keep her around.
Posted by: michele | May 24, 2007 at 09:38 PM
Just dropping by to say Hi and to let you know I enjoyed reading your blog. Great attitude to life so, by my guess, you are unstopable and nothing is out of your reach. Aim high and strive to reach the stars. Mr R.
Posted by: Mr Reasonable | May 25, 2007 at 03:44 AM
Oh my, I hope someday you can reconsider your decision on your mom. I don't know the details, but I didn't have a great relationship with my mom until recently (I'm 47) and my daughter doesn't like me much right now or since I can remember (she's 27). Don't give it up - things change, tomorrow is another day...Mommy's ALWAYS love their babies, sometimes you just can't see the same page at the same time - I don't know - just don't give up on your mom!
Posted by: Ingrid | May 25, 2007 at 07:23 PM
I'm glad you're feeling better and hope you have big plans for the weekend!
Posted by: CreoleInDC | May 26, 2007 at 06:07 PM
I let go of the dysfunctional relationship I had with my mother almost ten years ago. I wish I could say I regret it, but it remains one of the healthiest decisions I've ever made in my life. Not all women are meant to be mothers; not all mothers are capable of being moms.
No pity, just empathy.
Posted by: Kristina | May 26, 2007 at 09:14 PM